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Heartbreak and the birth of creativity

May 12, 2013

I wrote a piece for for Love, InshAllah about how my relationship to writing changed and led to the creation of this blog.

Love, InshAllah

Sarah wonderland

It has never been my nature to attract romantic love, or to stumble into it unawares. The men I studied and worked with rarely interested in me, and I don’t believe I interested them either. I was discreet, invisible, unseen, unheard. I was content with being a colleague, a classmate, an acquaintance – nothing more.

It has also never been my nature to share myself with others. I have always written, but have been too shy to share it publically. The thought of someone reading my words was as daunting as the thought of someone walking in on me while I was in the trance of prayer, or reading over my shoulder as I wrote a beseeching supplication to God. Writing—like prayer, like sex—was sacred, meant to be shared only with those who are deeply loved and trusted. Instead of sharing my words with a giant, faceless public, I always…

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. Bill Ellis permalink
    May 12, 2013 1:49 am

    So we still communicate at arms-length Sarah as I now discover some more unfinished business to which i had previously attached a label

    • May 12, 2013 10:12 am

      We all carry baggage in the form of past experiences; it’s how we process it that makes us unique and bestows us with whatever we offer to the world.

      • Bill Ellis permalink
        May 12, 2013 7:04 pm

        Thanks and agreed. I think the trick is to recognize what is being carried and then release it with gratitude and move on.

  2. May 18, 2013 9:26 pm

    I stumbled across your blog via LoveInshAllah and I wanted to thank you for writing this beautiful piece, Sarah. It was both heart-breaking and comforting. I’ve gone through a very similar experience to what you shared (haven’t we all?) and understand the pain, confusion and loneliness that accompanies the breaking of our hearts. And like you, I also discovered that redemption sometimes came from the most unlikeliest of places. It’s a long process, healing our wounds and finding our way back to Allah – and I think we can all agree that we gain a lot more in loss than we could have possibly imagined. But unlike you, I have yet to find my voice through the written form (still working on that).

    Anyway, I do hope you keep writing regularly – you really do have a gift for it, and I will be a regular reader from now on.

    A Fellow Torontonian Muslimah 🙂

  3. May 21, 2013 8:06 pm

    Beautiful piece! I’m so glad you got picked up for the Love, Inshallah blog so that I found yours and can read more 🙂 Happy writing!

    -Maria T.

  4. May 29, 2013 5:07 am

    Some time we must show our inner beauty to other , Insh Allah the road will come.

  5. June 23, 2013 5:48 am

    say Allah is the ever-giving

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